Were are at the end of my review of the Hatchet Trilogy. Strap yourseves in. We are headed back tot he swamp.
Hatchet 3(2013) Written by Adam Green and directed by BJ McDonnel and starring Kane Hodder as Victor Crowley, Danielle Harris as Marybeth, Zach Galligan as Sherrif Fowler, Caroline Williams as Amanda, Parri Shen as Andrew, Rileah Vanderbuilt as Dougherty, Derek Mears as Swat leader Hawes, Robert DoQui as Deputy Winslow and Sid Haig as Abbot McMmullen.
Hatchet 3 brings a even bigger cast and a higher body count and we get a few more veterans of the horror genre; Zach Galligan(Billy from Gremlins, Caroline Williams (Stretch from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2) , Derek Mears (Jason from the Friday the 13th remake, that’s right we get two former Jasons in one movie) and the late great Sid Haig. So, lets journey to Honey Island Swamp one more time, Well at least for this post anyway.
Like its predecessor Hatchet 3 begins right where the previous film leaves off. Marybeth who as seemingly just killed Victor Crowley tries to find her way out of the woods. But wait Victor Crowley sits up like Michael Myers from Halloween and comes after her again. She finds the gigantic chainsaw, engages it and Crowley falls on it dismembering him. Marybeth is able to get away and makes her way to the city. She enters the police station covered in blood, holding a rifle in one hand and Victor Crowely’s scalp in the other. Probably not a smart move on her part. But to her defense she just went through hell and is in a bit of shock.
She is immediately arrested and put into a jail cell. Of course, Sherrif Fowler doesn’t believe her story about Victor Crowley… surprise, surprise. And when the search party he sent tot the swamps reports the grizzly remains, he automatically assumes that Marybeth is responsible for all the murders. Cops aren’t known for being overly bright in horror films, but Fowler might be the dumbest.
As I just mentioned, a team of local cops and paramedics have ascended on Honey Island Swamp. One of the paramedics, named Andrew, has a striking resemblance to Shawn and Justin from the previous films but does not appear to be related.
Once the sun sets, you guessed it Victor Crowley returns and unleashes heel on the search party. After losing communication with the search party, Fowler heads to the swamp. Right as he leaves his ex- wife Amanda shows up, who happens to be a investigative reporter obsessed with the legend of Victor Crowley / she comes across more like a tabloid reporter. She is able to coerce Deputy Winslow into letting her talk with Marybeth. By the way Winslow must be the most gutless person I have ever seen. Amanda manipulates him into doing whatever she wants.
Upon arriving at the swamp Fowler is approached by the Louisiana Swat team led by Hawes, who I think has played Call of Duty one too many times. They discover the carnage of several dead policeman and cops but discover the paramedic, Andrew who managed to survive.
Of these cast of characters which is a mix of local police and the swat team, Dougherty who just transferred from Arizona and is about the only likeable person in this bunch. There is this one cop named Schneiderman, who literally never stops talking, he is constantly winning and there are times when it looks like either Fowler or Hawes might actually shoot this guy themselves.
Meanwhile, Amanda has managed to talk Deputy Winslow into taking Marybeth and her on a joy ride to find the last living ancestor of Thomas Crowley, a secluded crazy man by the name of Abbot McMullen. Amanda believes since Abbot has possession of Thomas Crowley’s ashes, they will bring peace to Victor and ending his rampage. Of course, Winslow agrees, this guy can never say no. Marybeth at this time has no interest in being a part of this lunatic plan. She has learned her lesson and knows that no good can come of going back to the swamp, especially as they all learn, through the police radio that Victor is back and killing again. But as she is a prisoner of the state; she doesn’t have much choice. Winslow keeps her in handcuffs, which is stupid, considering that by now it is plenty obvious, she didn’t murder anyone, just the attempted murder of Victor Crowley.
Back at the swamp, the entire group of law enforcement officers confront Victor Crowley, and we get one of the biggest massacre scenes ever. If you thought the scene in Halloween Kills, where Micheal slaughters a group of firefighters, was something. Hold Victor’s beer because this scene is a straight up annihilation. These cops have no chance whatsoever. We do get a brief ‘Battle of the Jasons’ , when Mears’s Hawes attempts to duke it out with Hodder’s Crowley and that certainly didn’t end well for Hawes. Most of the cops are slaughtered including the pain in the ass Schneiderman. Fowler, Daugherty and Andrew manage to escape and call in the military for backup.
After getting the urn that houses Thomas Crowley’s ashes from Abbot in a scene that is hilarious. Sid Haig was on point and will have you laughing, Amanda, Winslow and Marybeth head back to the swamp. But it is too late to save Fowler and Daugherty who have both been brutally murdered, though Andrew manages to escape. Looks like a character played by Parry Shenn is actually going to survive one of these movies.
Amanda tells Marybeth since she is the only living relative of Samson Dunston, that she has to be the one to take the ashes to Victor. Marybeth protests as she knows this is a dumb plan and would really like to live. It doesn’t take Crowley long to kill Winslow and shortly after, Amanda in a normal gruesome fashion. Marybeth is handcuffed and left alone to confront this demon she has had to fight now for three straight nights. Victor eventually impales her up against a tree. But still holding the urn, Marybeth slams it on Victor’s head and the ashes of his father causes him to slowly melt, kind of like the Wicked Witch of the West. As her slowly melts and is reduced to a grotesque husk of himself, Marybeth is able to free herself gasping for air but manages to grab an assault rifle left by one of the deceased officers and fires on Victor, blowing him to bits. Victor Crowley would appear to be finally dead…or is he? Marybeth lays on her back and breathes her last breath… or does she? Andrew would seem to be the last person standing and the credits roll.
I did enjoy Hatchet 3 but I do consider it a step down from the first two movies. I know slasher movies aren’t known for having the brightest characters, especially the cops. I kind of thought the idea of the police being incompetent and, on the asshole, side was overplayed a bit. But it was still a fun watch, especially the massacre scene and the finale between Marybeth and Victor Crowley. I really would have liked about five more minutes between those two adversaries. One surprise that I didn’t mention was we do see Ben from the first movie. He has actually been alive this whole time. Just chilling on the boat with one less arm. His cameo is short lived as he received a hatchet to the head. I think it would have been cooler had he shown up at the last second to come to the aid of Marybeth. Just a thought.
I give Hatchet 3 a 7.5/10
My thoughts on the Trilogy:
I have actually not seen the fourth film simply titled Victor Crowley. That is possibly due to the fact that the first three are so linear in their storytelling with each movie taking place one night after the previous film. It would seem mundane. Why do we need a fourth film? Well to quote my friend Molly, “Because Adam Green and Kane Hodder wanted another film!” The point being,” Why the fuck not”. Point well taken, I will watch the fourth, maybe around Halloween.
Getting back to the trilogy, the story telling kind of mirrors Friday the 13th parts 2, 3 and 4. A deranged killer living in the woods avenging his death along with the only parent he has ever known. The story is nothing too in depth. It keeps it simple while adding a little layer to each sequel. Adam Green methodically gives us just enough background into Victor Crowley, without taking away from the menace of the character. Like Jason or even Leatherface he could be seen as somewhat sympathetic. If you just stay away from his home, he will leave you alone. At the end, I think Marybeth understands this. At one point she does show some sympathy for this monster as she understands her father started all of this. She even apologizes to Victor for what happened but in the spirit of self-preservation- it is either him or her.
These movies give us what we want out of slasher films, fun characters, gruesome kills, a violent unstoppable beast of a killer. Kane Hodder shows us why we loved him so much as Jason even if we weren’t the biggest fans of those later movies. He takes the character of Victor Crowley and owns it.
But a monster is only as good as the main protagonist and in this case a final girl by the name of Marybeth. Another great and underrated Final girl who goes against the grain a bit. She is mouthy, has an attitude will tell cops to fuck off. But that’s why we love her. Sure, she does make some mistakes along the way but often proves to be the smartest person in the scene, which may or may not be saying much. She is a character with heart and at times shows compassion like she does in part 2 with Justin who realizes his brother Shawn is dead. Her motives are basically pure. At first she wants to save what’s left of her family and then just bring back their remains for a proper burial. By the third movie, like any of us would in that situation, she has no interest in going back to that swamp. Enough is enough after all but is forced to do so. Maybe that is the deep meaning of Hatchet, sometimes we have to face something we would rather not face but it might be the only way to get peace for ourselves.
In closing, it is a shame that these movies didn’t get the notoriety or fandom it deserves. I might be in the minority, but I am much bigger fan of Hatchet than I am of Terrifier and yet Terrifier has become a huge success. So why was that? Perhaps timing? It was 2006 when the first movie came out and was released straight to video though I think it did make the festival circuit. At that time horror was in the middle of a remake boom, paranormal horror and found footage horror were becoming all the rave. So maybe studios didn’t think a new Slasher series was what the fans wanted at the time. Keep in mind the beloved Halloween classic Trick r Treat didn’t get a studio release either, which is also a crime.
Slowly but surely, the Hatchet movies are gaining their fan base as more and more horror fans are discovering it for the first time. The best thing it does is consistency. It doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel or overcomplicate itself. It knows what it is and embraces it. For me they make the perfect pallet cleanser. An analogy I will make, have you ever gone and ate at a new restaurant that everyone rants and raves about and you just didn’t car for it. Maybe it was overpriced, the food wasn’t that good, the service was slow. So you and your significant ither go to your favorite burger place or taco stand or pizza joint and enjoy something simpler that you have come to rely on. That is what the Hatchet trilogy does for me whenever I watch a movie that just didn’t work for me.
Coming Soon to a Substack Near You:
Lucio Fulci’s Gates of Hell Trilogy
Dario Argento’s Three Mothers Trilogy
The Re- Animator Trilogy
Evil Dead Trilogy
Ti West’s X Trilogy
Rob Zombie’s Firefly Trilogy
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